Written: Nov. 22, 2019
I wrote this blog in attempts to find clarity and determine personal innovation. I had a few days at the beach to reflect, and I did a follow-up reflection on my initial blog. I made sure to turn in my last assignment for my one class while making sure I was ahead in my remaining class. Anyways, the overall basis for this getaway was to allow myself to feel some emotions I had been repressing. My entire coping mechanism has changed recently, and I was overwhelmed with changes, both internally and externally, that have been occurring. The thought of graduating lead me to an array of long-term goals such as career endeavors, eventually moving into my own apartment, etc. I became immersed in a tsunami when all I really needed was to watch each wave slowly crash and come back to shore with a calm yet constant repetition.
“Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray.” ~ Job 6:24
I slowed down, keeping up with classes but allotting time for activities. I ran 1.5 miles on the beach each day and walked an ecological trail in the woods that lead to a little beach. I thought, “wow, last time I was here, I didn’t take the opportunity to walk on the beach or to practice mindfulness as I listened to my breath,” I noticed GROWTH.
“for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” ~ Philippians 2:13
I am slowly exiting the numbness. I am leaving that period with GRATITUDE to excepting my emotions as a gift instead of a burden. I have always been one to reflect on my feelings and logic in attempts to make choices that would optimize my sense of being.
16Rejoice always, 17pray continually, 18give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
I know, when the times come, I will not enjoy the numbness or the journey, but I will have greater peace because I know I will come out stronger.