Cheers to TWENTY THREE; things I’ve Learned

People ask me, “How are you?” and the answer I continuously provide is that, 

“My life seems to be falling apart and coming together at the same time.” 

Twenty-Two was quite the rollercoaster with a lot of unexpected screams as I flew down a hill of overwhelming fear and then jerked upwards when a thrill of hope came along. 

I learned a lot about relationships. I learned that there is calmness amid a storm, as long as you allow yourself to be the eye and stay centered. I did a lot of inner-child healing that I am still working through (and, quite frankly, healing is a never-ending but always rewarding journey). I acknowledged the multidimensional meaning of space and realized that growing pains are an inevitable part of healing, but all things will pass. Most importantly, I found peace in gratitude as it drew me closer to the beauty that surrounds me regardless of how overwhelming things may feel. I spent a lot of time in solitude, watering the seeds of my faith so that I can grow more deeply rooted in my connection with Christ. 

Throughout this past year, there have been so many changes on an individual and collective level. There have been times where I feel like I’m living in misery, and there have been moments where it feels like Heaven on Earth. From health problems that kept me from getting out of bed to long solo walks on the beach as I watch the sun slowly setting, 23 was a year of contradictions. As my vibrational level shifted amidst some moments of heavy internal healing, my surroundings shifted. My surroundings began to align with my upgraded perceptions of how I and others relate. Throughout these changes, I shredded beliefs about myself that I had held onto for a long time; these beliefs connected with external situations that influenced how I chose to protect myself. I began the year with the intent of leaving my comfort zone. I put myself out there, connecting with people who I felt drawn to, but found myself shrinking down due to the fear of being judged. As time progressed, many people came and went, but I became more confident. I began to realize who I was and how I wanted to show up for myself and others. Ironically, as I began to show up for myself, I found a deeper pull towards my pre-existing passions and heightened clarity on which route I will take to achieve these goals. As I enter a new year, I am excited to see how I can continue to cultivate greater self-awareness. As a result,  I can extend these realizations outwards. I truly believe healing oneself paves the way towards healing others. 

To sum it up, here are 23 things I learned amidst this trip around the sun. 

1. This Too Shall Pass
   • Life is full of ups and downs and, during times of distress, it is comforting to know that change is inevitable. 
2. The way others treat you is a reflection of their own inner-world. 
   • People project their own realities onto others and, many times, someone who has a problem with you is actually dealing with an internal battle that your energy provokes within them. 
3. Gratitude truly elevates the soul 
   • No matter how overwhelmed I get, taking time to pause and list things I am grateful for instantly changes my mood. 
4. Stagnancy teaches us lessons too 
   • It is common that during moments of stagnancy force us to look within. If I surrender to these moments and allow myself to reflect, I am able to make the most of the situation. 
5. You can be grateful for what difficult times taught you without being happy that you endured the difficulty 
   • There is a lesson in every moment, but that does not take away from the emotions that coincide with the difficulty. 
6. Self-acceptance sets you free 
   • Fighting yourself does nothing, but makes things worse. The act of accepting oneself and the act of working towards growth can coexist. 
7. God will always provide guidance and synchronicities if you open your eyes. 
   • There is a reason you keep being guided towards something. 
8. Ego can be healthy and essential 
   • While it is important to remain humble, one must be confident so that they are able to pursue their passions. 
9. It’s okay to embrace all emotions. 
   • While there are mature ways to go about expressing your emotions, one must accept the feelings that they have. I have learned suppressing them only makes the unwanted emotion stronger. 
10. You really can find your soul tribe 
    • God will guide you to people who resonate with you as long as you 
11. Don’t settle 
    • …and put yourself out there. This will allow you to connect with people who are good for your soul. 
12. All relationships teach you something 
    • Nuff said. 
13. You must provide space for yourself. 
    • It’s okay to take up room!! In fact, you must if you want to expand and grow
14. Growth is not comfortable 
    • It isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. It involves tears and shedding many layers of oneself that are not beneficial to your well-being. 
15. Unlearning is an essential component of learning 
    • You must rid yourself of old habits as you become aware that they are no longer serving you 
16. Limiting beliefs must be addressed before you can blossom 
    • How are your thoughts impacting your actions? If you believe you can’t do something, then you won’t ever try. 
17. Generational trauma is not yours to carry 
    • Acknowledge it. Release it. 
18. Worrying only makes things worse 
    • Guilty as charged! Good news though, becoming aware of this helps bring attention to this reality, allowing you to redirect your thoughts. 
19. Surrendering is how God shows us His power 
    • When we leave things in God’s hands, we start to see His power. Things start to unfold. 
20. Immersing myself in the present moment creates greater gratitude. 
    • When things are good, embrace it. However, when the present moment is overwhelming….
21. It is okay to escape. 
    • Escaping gives your mind a break from overwhelming situations, allowing you to give more attention to a problem when you need to focus on it. This is a form of rest…
22. Rest is an act. 
    • One must rest to prevail. The act of resting is essential for my ability to progress. 
23. Many traits you possess that can be viewed as problematic were actually developed as  forms of protection. 
    • It helps to realize that these “bad” traits were developed at a young age to help you cope with your environment. 

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11